The Russian Vodka Room: Visit Moscow on 52nd Street
The bright lights of Times Square – to visitors it’s considered heaven in the center of Manhattan – to locals it’s hell on earth. Tourists from every part of the world congregate in the land of adult Disneyland to stare at stupid shit, chow at chain restaurants that turn rats into sushi and buy knock-off handbags from men who convince you it just “fell off the back of a truck.” Real or fake, nothing screams visitor louder than a Coach bag! I’m not going to completely diss the square – I’ve both lived and worked there and I honestly think Herald Square is a bit more maddening (I currently work here and break out into hives on an hourly basis) – but the trick to the square is to know where to go and when!
Stroll down Broadway at 7pm on a Friday and run the risk of getting arrested … you’ll eventually lose your mind and shove someone out of your way and into the path of a speeding cab. If you walk down that same street at midnight on a Monday night in January you’ll own it (aside from New Year’s Eve – I’d rather be in jail), but you’ll also turn into an ice sculpture. I lived in Times Square for four years, not exactly on Broadway, but I was so close that I would have to show proof of residency in order to get into my apartment on New Year’s Eve and one year the cops STILL wouldn’t let me in at all so I went to a local bar on 9th Avenue and drowned my “I’m never getting married” sorrows in a Grey Goose martini with my roommate. We eventually picked ourselves up after that never-exciting ball came crashing down and walked over to our favorite little hole in the wall on 52nd street and 8th Avenue, the Russian Vodka Room.
I’m not sure who introduced me to the Vodka Room – might’ve been one of the 8,000 men I’ve dated in NYC (and I’m still single) – or we might’ve simply stumbled upon it in a drunken stupor one evening when we were dodging out-of-towners. Either way, it’s pretty rare that anyone ever seems to remember leaving the RVR. This diamond in the rough, no-frills bar/restaurant is a bit reminiscent of someone’s basement, equipped with a piano player. The dark entryway leads you into a world full of Russians speaking Russian – guaranteed you’ll feel like a foreigner in your own country. Russian mobsters, wannabe supermodels and suits escaping the office line the mahogany bar to drink Batika 3 beer while slurping on delicious borscht and sucking down vodka shots. As someone with a Ukrainian background I’m embarrassed to say that I had never tried borscht before the Vodka Room and now I eat this beet soup every time I go there. It makes the dead-of-winter chills a little more bearable.
“Friendly” is not a word in the bartender’s and waitresses’ vocabulary, but they warm up to you after seeing your face twice a month for eight years straight. The general manager, on the other hand, is awesome and will go out of his way to make you feel right at home (and he’ll even permanently remove the candles from the bar after your hair catches on fire). While taking in the sites you will notice jars full of science projects on a shelf near the door. For a minute there you might wonder if they’re preserving animals for a soon-to-be-named entrée item, but it’s just the vodka (it’ll make you forget your name)…
The Russian Vodka Room makes their own vodka. No, you won’t uncover a lost distillery in the basement, but they do infuse their own vodka. Flavors like garlic & dill, horseradish, ginger, apple & cinnamon and peach & apricot will have you doing handstands on 8th Avenue (if you don’t get sick). If you’re really brave you can try the vodka shot sampler … after you’ve committed to a flavor do as the Russians and order an 8oz., heart-shaped carafe and do vodka shots with your friends (I’d suggest this option when you DON’T have to wake up early the following morning).
In an effort to absorb the hangover-in-the-making check out the authentic Russian menu. My personal favorite is the chicken schnitzel with rosemary butter and mixed vegetables. It’s a hearty meat, potatoes and veggie dish that saves my life every time. We typically don’t get to the food portion of the evening until the bar clears out a little bit and we’re finally able to snag seats in the back corner (I’d prefer to sit at the bar – I’m a people-watcher). At this point we have switched back to beer and water and we can hear the piano player’s melodies and have learned a word or two in Russian.
The Vodka Room isn’t exactly a meat market – I guess if you understand the language you might be able to meet someone – but it doesn’t have that type of vibe. It’s a great place to go for drinks with a friend, grab a bite to eat, and catch up without random creepers breathing down the back of your neck. It’s dark, candlelit and slightly romantic, I suppose, but it’s not necessarily first date-worthy. It’s the type of place you’d go if you’ve been dating someone for quite sometime and you want to try somewhere “exotic”. As for happy hour, they have great specials with $3 infused-vodka shots and $5 beers (the Baltika is a beer and a half in a bottle so it’s completely worth it) and it is a fun place to go with coworkers, but a smaller crowd as the narrow bar makes it difficult to converse with multiple people at once.
All in all, I give the Russian Vodka Room two thumbs up. It is hands-down one of my very favorite drinking establishments in NYC, now if only I could find my way out of there…
