TAO: Where the 16-foot Buddha Dines
I have a confession to make: I love TAO. Yep, I’m talking about good old TAO on 58th Street between Madison and Park Avenues. You know the one that opened in 2000 and has a fat Buddha statue plopped down in the center of the restaurant? Oh let’s not forget the fact that they knocked it off in Vegas and turned it into a shitty nightclub so a bunch of Oklahoma cowboys can say they’ve partied at TAO while slamming back oh-so-NYC Long Island Iced Teas (do people really drink those disgusting things outside of trailer parks?).
I met a friend after work for a glass of wine to discuss another friend of ours who, despite our warnings, thought it was a good idea to drunk bike through NYC—well, she got hit by a cab and fractured her arm. People never listen to me! Anyway, last week I discovered that an old friend of mine is the General Manager at TAO so of course I suggested we meet there because I’d rather spend my money at Barney’s than on booze.
I’m sure you’ve been to TAO or you at least know all about it due to the media hype. I pretend the one in Vegas is non-existent because I’m allergic—we’re only focusing on New York City, people! Walking into TAO New York is like walking into a private club. Once you get past the heavy front doors (hopefully without breaking a nail) and enter into the dimly lit downstairs bar area and restaurant you instantly feel sexy and celebrity-like. Why? Because the place is loaded with tourists and they swear Paris Hilton is going to stroll through the door and trip over her hair extensions so expect star treatment for 15 seconds. In reality, celebrities do go there—on a Monday night at 10 pm when hungry Park Avenue Investment Bankers who wouldn’t care if Tiger Woods was sitting on their table will swing by for a bite after work.
Fun fact time: TAO was originally built in the 19th century as a stable for the famed Vanderbilt family (would they like to adopt me?) and then became a balconied movie theater before becoming one of the most famous restaurants in the states.
I personally enjoy the upstairs bar because the view is much better, the bartenders are more attentive and you do not have to deal people hovering over you while they’re trying to grab a drink. Your back is against the wall—the only thing that’ll fit in that space is an anorexic chick. What’s more, you actually have a chance to snag a seat at the upstairs bar, rest the feet that 5” platforms destroyed and wish upon that 16-foot Buddha who is seemingly floating above a virtual, reflecting pool of fish. Sometimes I think it might be fun to sit next to him—you could splash people and feed the fish rice and wine—not that I’d ever do that. I wouldn’t mind sitting in the prized, third floor Skybox either. The best seats in the house are normally reserved for private parties, corporate events and celebrities who would like to avoid appearing in Page Six.
TAO has a full bar with an interesting selection of specialty cocktails like the Bamboo Gingerita and the TAO Love Potion #9, but I still stick to what I know…New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. As for food, I’m very fond of my Asian cuisine and I’d say that makes me pretty knowledgeable in this area. The food is average, the apps are decent—can you really screw up edamame, sushi and spring rolls?—and the vegetable sides are tasty, but I’d hold off on the entrees if you’re looking for amazing. You’d find a better meal a few blocks away at Le Colonial on 57th Street between Lexington and 3rd Avenues.
Not to diss my beloved TAO, I go for the incredible ambiance, the positive vibes, the unmistakable soundtrack, the flowing alcohol, the intriguing design and, of course, people-watching.
