The Premium Life

Despite my suggestion that she wait until Sunday to brave the crowds and the bad weather, mom insisted on touring NYC last Saturday. I met her on the 1st floor of Macy’s (I can’t seem to escape this place!) where I tried my best not to whack some pathetic soul in a bright red North Face jacket with my wet umbrella. After shoving a few people out of my way and practically down an elevator shaft, I insisted we try somewhere that’ll be a little less midwestern-tastic so we hopped in a cab and headed over to the Time Warner Center. The cab driver, of course, took us through Times Square which mom was thrilled about, but made me want to taser him and take over the steering wheel.

We finally pulled up to Time Warner’s winter wonderland after having a minor fender bender with Santa and his sleigh. Even as a jaded, bitter New Yorker I found the decor to be quite gorgeous, especially as the snow fell onto the trees. The crowds inside TWC weren’t even remotely as obnoxious as the scene at Macy’s—I breathed a sigh of relief—even mom agreed and she thought Macy’s was as exciting as discovering the fountain of youth. I suggested we hightail it upstairs to Rande Gerber’s Stone Rose bar for a glass of wine and a beautiful view of Central Park. We definitely deserved it after surviving the past hour of freezing rain, snow and people who consider Snuggies fashion-forward.

The escalator dropped us off on the 4th floor and we wandered over to Stone Rose only to find that it doesn’t open until 4pm! Seriously? (the drunks in my family enjoy drinking before noon—or maybe that’s just me?)

“That restaurant looks cute and open.” Mom said as she pointed to Per Se.

“Are you prepared to shell out $600 for lunch,” I asked as we walked by a small space called Clo Wine Bar + Shop for the second time. She thought I was joking … so naïve. “Here’s a wine bar, right in front of us. It looks cool.”

I recently caught reviews of the newly-opened Clo on TV and in the local magazines — the press has seemingly fallen head over heels for this place. I could see why — gorgeous views of the city, amazing wine and a state-of-the-art wine menu! The hostess offered us a seat at the wooden, communal table and instructed us to sit where the Ewinebook was turned on. This interactive touch screen communal table uses overhead projection stations that enabled us to choose our selections with tasting notes that include varietal, region and price.

Clo is the latest concept created by sommelier Andrew Bradbury, former wine director of Aureole Las Vegas. Bradbury introduced the Ewinebook, the world’s first electronic wine list using Hewlett-Packard Tablet PCS and Microsoft technology. The Ewinebook features ninety-six wines — cult, boutique and rare vintages — which are presented in custom made, perfect temperature and humidity controlled dispensing machines, allocating 4 oz tasting pours.

Using a prepaid debit-style card for our wine, we each tasted a few wines (a Reisling, a Pinot Gris and a Soave), but I was slightly turned off by the prices — anywhere from $3 to over $100 per tasting — at least mom’s paying! She became a little tipsy and since I can score a case of wine for the price of one tasting I asked for our check. Clo has light snacks and cheese for your wine, but we were in desperate need of a full-fledged dinner in the Lincoln Square area so we left, but not without checking out their retail shop where you can purchase wine glassware and other merchandise. I will definitely be going back to Clo with someone who can drink a little more than my mother.

Straight out of a scene from Sex and the City, three of my girlfriends and I were wandering down Lexington Avenue, checking out the men in suits. While husband shopping, the most horrific thing that could’ve possibly happened to four girls dressed like classy hookers did occur—we got caught in a torrential downpour. Since all four of us were relatively new to the city, we weren’t sure where to go to wait out the summer monsoon so we wandered into the Bull & Bear Steakhouse bar at the Waldorf-Astoria.

“Do you have any idea how expensive this place is going to be?” My friend Lisa asked.

I scanned the bar that The New York Times called “one of the world’s three greatest, classic bars” and made an executive decision. “Um, this place is packed with older men. We’re like babies to them … I think it’s entirely possible to score some free booze! We’re staying.”

We shook ourselves off like dirty dogs and walked towards the bar where a gentleman not only cleared a space for us and gave us his seats, but he also offered to order our first round of drinks.

“Oscar, get these beautiful ladies whatever they’d like. It’s on me!”

I gave my friends the “I told you so” look and we made ourselves comfortable. The bartender came over and introduced himself to us, his name was Oscar and his partner-in-crime/bartending, Adel, soon followed. “We’re going to get you good and liquored up—be prepared.”

It was 2001 and none of us had “real” jobs, so despite the fact that it was a Tuesday night, we were down for the challenge. To the disapproval of Oscar, I ordered a chardonnay. He suggested I try the Brancott Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand —this was the beginning of the end for me because I am now beyond obsessed with this wine. I took one sip of this grapefruit-y drink from the gods and it was lights out. My friends ordered the same drink and we settled into our seats and entered into heaven.

The place had a few tourists, but it was mostly older Wall Street/Park Avenue men looking to booze it up after work and avoid their nagging wives and annoying children. A few creepy guys who could’ve been my grandfather began hitting on me. I chatted them up because—quite frankly—I didn’t want to pay for my drinks.

The one gramps leaned in to whisper a sweet nothing into my ear. “Do you know Judy Blume’s sitting on the other side of you?”

What? Judy Blume?! I grew up reading her books! I was thrilled to discover that I was sitting next to Ms. Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret. After a few drinks I got up the nerve to speak to her—turns out she’s a bit of a regular—I’ve seen her at the B&B multiple times since then. She’s always very sweet and entertaining. After deciding to leave her alone, I turned my attention back to the rest of the bar. There was an older lady in a hat who seemed to know everyone at the bar—she typically wears these hats while sipping on martinis—we dubbed her “Crazy Hat Lady.” There was this total phony of a guy who claims to be Mediterranean royalty, but after googling him I realized it was just the Makers Mark talking. Then I met a guy who said he’d like to set me up with his son, but it turns out he wanted me for himself … and how could I forget about the guy who looked just like Frasier from Cheers! He told me he was going to help me find a job, but he just wanted my phone number—and my friend’s! Read more »