“So a friend of mine from high school just got hired as the Wine Director for Danny Meyer’s new restaurant in the Gramercy Park Hotel. I’m going to the opening! You should write this place up!”

“Danny Meyer is HUGE,” I replied. “What’s the name of his new place?”

“Maialino — can’t wait to tell you all about it!”

Of course I felt a twinge of jealousy, knowing that she was going to the opening of this restaurant — I knew it would be a hit, even in bitter NYC. My boyfriend lives across the street from the Gramercy Park Hotel so I figured I’d make a cameo appearance soon enough. I tried to tell him all about it, but couldn’t remember the name (or how to pronounce it). A few days after the opening we decided to be lazy fools, crossed the street and ventured into Danny Meyer’s first shot at Italian goodness, Maialino, a Roman-style trattoria.

We immediately snagged seats at the bar and began reading the wine list — it’s written, chalkboard-style, above the bar. I’m not a huge lover of Italian wines so I ordered a Soave and the boy stuck with some version of Pinot Noir (perhaps it was a Pinot Noir, I just don’t remember – blame it on the al-al-al-al-alcohol). I caught a glimpse of my coworker’s friend, Wine Director Stephen Mancini, and contemplated asking him for some help with the whites, but I didn’t want my actions reported back to the office. After all, what happens if I call out – uh *cough* SICK. I decided to remain anonymous. (I’m really not as big of a lush as I make myself sound). The wine list is pretty extensive, the all-Italian list features 85 bottles; 18 of those selections are available both by the glass and quartino. The restaurant currently offers six Italian beers all by the bottle – including my fave, Peroni!

The long, walnut bar (which is where we always end up) backs up to three windows, overlooking the famed Gramercy Park (watch out for Julia Roberts). The tables, chairs and barstools are custom-designed walnut, adding to the rustic, Italian feel. The wood-planked floors are made from reclaimed, locally found oak and the blue and white checked tablecloths drape over the tables, adding to the homey atmosphere. In the center of the restaurant is Maialino’s cucina, featuring a salumi, cheese and antipasto station on one side; with a coffee, dessert and bread station on the other.

The Executive Chef, Nick Anderer, hails from Gramercy Tavern.  This is his first Top Chef spot! Though his menu has been awarded two stars by the New York Times and has been hailed from coast-to-coast, I’m not exactly blown away. We went there for brunch a few weeks ago and I had to order three (very altered) meals in order to fill my finicky stomach. I felt like I was in a commercial where the couple goes out to eat dinner AGAIN after their meals at the newest hotspot restaurant – the portions couldn’t stuff a rabbit. I’m a freak when it comes to food, so pay no attention to my dislike of goat cheese, red meat, egg yolks, the other white meat, fish of all kinds, milky substances and dessert.

The menu draws its inspiration from the classic dishes found throughout the trattorie of Rome, and features fresh, seasonal ingredients sourced from the Greenmarket and other local farms. The dishes are prepared with straight-forward Roman cooking techniques and bold Roman flavors. Antipasti include Carpaccio di Polpo (Octopus and Heirloom Potato Salad) and Carciofi Alla Romana (braised artichokes); the Primi section of the menu features classic Roman pasta dishes such as Tonnarelli Cacio e Pepe, Spaghetti alla Carbonara, Malfatti alla Maialino (suckling pig ragu, torn pasta and arugula), and Spaghettini alle Vongole; main course highlights include Fritto Misto and Coda alla Vaccinara (Oxtails, Tomato & Celery). Pastry Sous Chef Jennifer Shelbo, who has worked under Nancy Olson at Gramercy Tavern, will be preparing freshly made desserts such as Gelato, Tartufo and Torta Della Nonna (pine nut tart), among others.

Now for the name that I cannot pronounce … “Maialino” recalls Danny’s time as a 20-year-old living in Rome and working as a tour guide for his father’s travel company. His Italian boss, Giorgio, immediately took to calling him “Meyerino” (little Meyer). Danny’s favorite part of the job was to bring his tour groups to a different trattoria every night, where he’d unfailingly order “Maialino” (roast suckling pig) for dinner. In homage to Danny’s love for pork – Giorgio transformed Meyerino into “Maialino.” Danny’s nickname had become “Little Pig.”

Oink.

Now that the word has gotten out our trips over to Maialino have been few and far between. We’re waiting for the buzz to die down. The last time we wandered into the bar, the bartender told us there was a waitlist for the bar seats AND a supermodel stepped on my toe with her damn Alexander McQueen Armadillo shoes. I would’ve started a fight with her, but she was nearly 7’ tall in those 10-inch tall claws. They do come in handy – if you must sit, you could threaten customers out of their seats with those deadly weapons.

Now I must preface this entry by saying that I have not attended the nighttime, promoter-sponsored parties—I am a happy hour type of chick. I cannot muster up the energy to rage with the masses on a Friday night, even if it is with a date.

Whenever a guy asks me to pick the date spot (FYI guys we secretly loathe this—it’s your duty) I always drag them to Ian Schrager’s—yes, of Studio 54 fame—and Julian Schnabel’s revamp of this once dowdy joint. Hey, if a guy can hang with me and sip on $20 martinis at Rose Bar and then walk across the way to Pete’s Tavern for a beer, he’s my type of guy.

Medieval is the word that comes to mind when describing Rose Bar. I feel like I’m a maiden lost in a Spanish castle’s great hall where models serving bottles and beefy men in black lead me to Prince Charming behind the wooden, oak-leaf-shaped bar. On my way to the Vanilla Passion martini (which consists of Stolichnaya Vanil and Tuaca liqueur with coconut cream and passion juice) I always pause to take in the impressive sights. The walls are lined with authentic works from celebrated artists. You cannot miss Warhol’s fifteen-foot gold leaf “Rorschach” print, Schnabel’s “Teddy Bear’s Picnic” (near the red-felt, smoked-wood pool table) and “Suddenly Last Summer #2” above one of the two, 10-foot high, wood burning fireplaces. The red and white tiled floors are adorned with custom-designed, ultra-cushy velvet couches and chairs—the perfect excuse to whipser sweet nothings into your date’s ear!

The cocktail menu is pretty extensive and features a wide range of drinks to please the fussiest drinkers from the Ginger Fig (Reyka vodka with muddled ginger root and fig jam and fresh orange juice) to the Pineapple and Cinnamon Mojito (Sailor Jerry rum with muddled fresh pineapple, fresh mint leaf and cinnamon foam) and over to the male-friendly James Bond (Hennessy Cognac, Orange Curaçao, a splash of pineapple and fresh lime topped with Prosecco). As usual, I tend to stick with my Villa Maria New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. Rose Bar also serves food during the lunch hours, but I’ve never eaten here and haven’t heard much about the cuisine at all so I stick to the booze.

It has been my personal experience that Rose Bar is on its best behavior between the hours of 1pm-9pm. During this time period you’ll avoid the kiddies, the celeb stalkers and the *cough* working girls. It’s quiet enough to hold a business meeting, take a client out for drinks or even that girl from marketing who your boss is also interested in dating…

Did she mention that she’s also on eHarmony?